My 30 before 30 list // Please let me be a functional adult after I leave my 20s

During the week of my birthday, I noticed a couple of posts popping up around the blogosphere that revolved around setting goals for milestone birthdays. (The two in particular that crossed my path were Vee’s 25 before 25 and Amanda’s 30 before 30, but they are definitely not the only ones to create posts like this.) While I was hesitant to come up with my own list at first, worrying that if I were to not reach these goals by 30 I’d end up being disappointed in myself, I ultimately decided it was worth a go. Not only did I want to see what thirty items I would come up with, but I decided that even if I didn’t do them all just making a conscious effort towards making them happen would make me a happier , better-functioning person (and really, these days that’s all I really want).

It’s actually funny when I think about what I thought life would be like a decade ago vs now. It just felt like once high school was over I would figure everything out and by 30 I’d have this whole list of accomplishments I could rattle off: a family, a home, a good job. It all just seemed so much simpler then… and of course it was, everything was before my brain introduced depression into my life.

But now? Well, I would just like to figure out how to be a functional adult. I’d like to be able to make and maintain friendships without having a meltdown or letting my insecurities rule me. I’d like to find a job and actually stick to it without having a breakdown in front of everyone and ultimately quitting once I hit the lowest of lows. I’d like to learn how to accept the bad days and not let them consume me to the point that months pass by. I’d just like to do a lot of the everyday things that I think some people take for granted.

Continue reading “My 30 before 30 list // Please let me be a functional adult after I leave my 20s”

It’s my birthday and I’m going in the closet.

That’s right. It’s my birthday. As of today I am twenty-eight (eek!) and, since it’s my big day, I finally get to go in the closet.

Now, let me clarify here. I am not using the phrase ‘going in the closet’ as some kind of metaphor for revealing (or hiding) my sexual or gender identity. No, I am talking about literally going into a closet. Why? Because that’s where my birthday present is.

You see, I got an email from my dad on May 10th. And in that email it said:

“i got your birthday present..
mom said i should wait til your birthday….
my thinking is, it’s here, it’s not like it will be a huge surprise…
there is a reason i went the route i did, which i’ll share after you see your present…..
anywho, if you want your present early it’s in the box in my closet…
but if you want to open something for your birthday, then stay out of my”

May 10th I received this email. Just over TWO WEEKS AGO!

And c’mon, you know my first obvious response: “PRESENTS?! LET’S GO! GO! GO!” I mean, he said I could open it now and I don’t really care about opening it early (I actually got my birthday presents from Dave last month) so why not?

Continue reading “It’s my birthday and I’m going in the closet.”